Yes, Children Need To Know: New US Guidelines on Sex Ed Cause a Stir

Well hallelujah- I hope.

Earlier this week new US sex education standards were released. Benchmarks include knowledge of proper names for anatomy by the end of second grade (age seven or eight) as well as an understanding of the range of sexual orientation by the end of fifth grade (age ten or eleven). Add to that an emphasis that all kids know about inappropriate touch.

Good news, right? Well…. 

These standards are suggested, not required. And you know that the folks who support abstinence based education are all over it. The piece I read included a quote from the Executive Director of the National Education Abstinence Association who doesn’t agree with the new standards.

The Battle

Contention over sex education is always an issue. I read a piece a couple of days ago about Planned Parenthood being ousted from teaching sexual health in a school district where they’ve been teaching for 20 years. And then there’s the piece from youth counselors  begging for sex education for kids because misinformation is doing more harm than good, putting kids at risk for STDs including HIV, and pregnancy. 

We have the opportunity to teach our kids language and body integrity from the start. Following the old adage, “walking at one, talking at two,” picture a two year old. If your son is pointing to his elbow, you help him learn language by saying, “That’s your elbow, honey.” Obviously we value this body knowledge as a culture- there’s a kids’ song “Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes,” which jauntily teaches body parts and calisthenics at the same time. So why wouldn’t we teach a kid the proper name for penis or vulva? I don’t think that “wee wee” or a similarly incorrect alternative is better, nor does it do anything positive for our kids.

The Goal

It is possible to teach children about their bodies and instill pride and understanding, rather than confusion. And it’s possible to teach about sexuality without “encouraging” relationships before kids are ready. This isn’t an either /or situation, and more importantly, it’s not a one-time discussion. Kids need to have ongoing sexual health information that’s age appropriate. Five year-olds deserve to know the proper names of their body parts. Eleven year-olds deserve to know about appropriate and inappropriate touching- it may already be too late for those who didn’t hear it beforehand.

Home vs School

Some of the argument about school based sex education is that it should happen at home, not at school. I totally think that parents should be talking to their kids about sexuality and sexual health at home, but not everyone does it. I know one parent at my kids’ school who doesn’t want to give her kid a sex ed “talk” (note the singular). She prefers the school do it, and I’m at least  grateful she hasn’t pulled her kid from the classroom.

We have to be adults here. And being adult is looking to the future of children- ours and others. If we want to raise sexually healthy kids who grow into sexually healthy adults, we need to start with the facts- body parts, body function. I believe in age-appropriate sexual health education for all kids. Lucky for B.C., there’s Saleema Noon. Ideally there’s someone in your locale who’s as sexual health-positive for girls and boys.

For many of us who grew up with limited and/or shaming sex education, we know the need for change. Let’s hope these new US recommendations develop legs, and walk into every classroom in the country.

- Janet